blues..

damn blardy farking bad mood

woke up feeling good
until i realised i've gained back the weight i lost
@#$&^@$*&&%^
ok, nvm abt dat
was feeling pretty good
compared to the usual days
when i was fighting to stay awake on the train
thot i'll have an energetic monday for once
hell i was wrong
went upstairs to do my usual work
and all of a sudden
i swear it's really all of a sudden
i was feeling so damn blardy sleepy
it's the kind of sleepy feeling
dat sucked big time
the very 辛苦 kind of sleepy
if u noe wat i mean
to top it up
was tinking thru quite a lote of stuff
damn fed up at my own brain
feeling so sleepy
still wanna think
wat the fuck
random thots
ok, not exactly random
thots abt stuff dats been happening recently

i don't noe wat to do
well, mayb i do
but subconsciously i dun wanna do it
i want to be nice
i am nice ok
i don't wanna do wat everyone's telling me to do
'coz i'll feel bad
and i don't wanna feel bad
and somehow i really cannot do it
i don't wanna hurt anyone
i don't wanna be heartless
so i'm saying this
do not, i repeat DO NOT push my limits

sometimes
i get so tired
protecting pple's feelings
is such a chore

i need a hug
a real one
if only

/end of pms rant