disappointed…

had another massive crying session this morning
tink my colleagues muz be getting tired of me
haha
alone in the office now
not in the mood for lunch
guess it’s a good time to slim down now
too tired after all the crying
and i’ve got loads of work todae
fuck lah
…
read his blog this morning
got me so upset
it’s so damn unfair to me
never crossed my mind dat he’ll do such a thing
no, not dat i mind him airing his grievances
but i didn’t tink he’d do it in such a childish manner
i called my gal fren
she read it while i was crying over the fone
and she was like
…
how can he write such things
half the entry is about the last quarrel
and other half is about him
why does he keep toking about it
he juz can’t get over it
…
sigh
i never knew he had such an impression of me
i never knew he’d be so unfair towards me
he wrote of all the things he did for me
and all the hurtful things i’ve done to him
yes, I admit
he did all dat
i did all dat
but wat about all the things dat i did for him
and all the things dat he didn’t do
and all the times dat he disappointed me???
…
someone suggest dat i write my blog too
to clear myself
if not, it’ll look like i’m admitting to all dat he said
but i don’t see the need to
i’ve gone pass the "tit-for-tat" and "eye-for-an-eye" stage
plus i dun see the need to impress his frens
they can tink wat they want of me
4 chinese words
wen4 xin1 wu2 kui4
my conscience is clear
i’ve put my heart and soul into the relationship
and I dun have to answer to anyone
if they choose to judge me based on his one-sided story
so be it
…
i’m really wondering if he was ever happy for the past 1.5 years
well, guess it doesn’t matter now, does it?
mayb it was a mistake right from the start